Tuesday, February 11

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loose notebook transcriptions

you know the weird instant when bam,

you're wide awake just like that?

like closing a switch
we talked about it once in a psychology class
i can't remember what it's called
there's a physiological explanation
but the second after it happens
it's hard not to suspect a signficance
that demands some sort of response

so now i'm sitting here
in the sun and wind
on a cold but reasonably dry section of concrete
while people walk past to classes,
dispatch in my headphones:

we got ten minutes to get there,
we got ten minutes to go

the last time i did this
and it has definitely been a while
i had one of those intersections
with a guy you could tell was
"talking to people about god"
from a distance of 30 feet

i could have deflected him, or fled the scene
as soon as i noticed that purposeful
make-eye-contact-and-you're-lost gaze

but i didn't

maybe because i hate shutting off to people,
the same reason it took me so long
to start hanging up on telemarketers

maybe because i was pissed
and didn't want to yield
my few minutes of sunlight and air
just to escape some intense tract-wielding fool

later i thought about printing my own tract:
how to reach confusion in 3 easy steps

everything science fiction has taught me about god

intense stares aren't enough to establish your charismatic authority
or, levitate, dammit

you get the idea,
and i should go to my early christianity class.

god i love led zeppelin

i mean listen
just listen
to "in my time of dying"

the song's 11 minutes and four seconds long
it spends half that time just trying to figure out
what it is

and then they kick into
"houses of the holy"

said there ain't no use in cryin'
'cause it will only only drive you mad
does it hurt to hear them lyin'?
was this the only world you've had?

which isn't the best song they ever recorded
but feels like it for a good four minutes.