Monday, September 27

yeah i know more meddling in our private lives

This is a Google Voice transcription of some auto-dialed phone spam that landed in my voicemail earlier today:

Yeah HI I'm, Stephen Bailey, yeah, i want to represent you in Congress. Yeah, I'm gonna force better and the Server country with distinction. Yeah, I'm also businessmen. The, never expected to run for public office by wife and I have 3 children. Yeah. Like any parent, we want our children. To have the opportunity for a better life yo. Washington is killing an opportunity by burning our families of the 13 trillion dollars in debt yard. Connie a flying machine young people continue to lose their jobs in home. You cannot afford more the same you can and must be better. Yeah it's time for our country to chart a new direction. Yes, I have attacking business is a great job. Yeah, Washington must get out of our way. You know more bail outs your status failures you know more deaf to, or 9 children. Yeah I know more meddling in our private lives. Yeah, I'm Stephen Bailey. If you agree, we can do better for families. Yeah, I need your vote. Yeah, this is Steven Bailey for congress dot com. Yes chart a new direction to prosperity. Yes message been paid for by, stevenville for Congress.

It comes across a bit syntactically challenged, but the added flavor sort of compensates for the minor reduction in coherence. The original is bland as death.

This is from a New York Times piece titled "U.S. Tries to Make It Easier to Wiretap the Internet":

Moreover, providers of services featuring user-to-user encryption are likely to object to watering it down. Similarly, in the late 1990s, encryption makers fought off a proposal to require them to include a back door enabling wiretapping, arguing it would cripple their products in the global market.

But law enforcement officials rejected such arguments. They said including an interception capability from the start was less likely to inadvertently create security holes than retrofitting it after receiving a wiretap order.

They also noted that critics predicted that the 1994 law would impede cellphone innovation, but that technology continued to improve. And their envisioned decryption mandate is modest, they contended, because service providers — not the government — would hold the key.

"No one should be promising their customers that they will thumb their nose at a U.S. court order," Ms. Caproni said. "They can promise strong encryption. They just need to figure out how they can provide us plain text."

God dammit people.