entries by topic: poem

This is a list of poems on p1k3. Aside from individual entries, there are also a couple of chapbooks, formatted for print:

2019/11/7 blah — foo / the light through the library windows / the leaves still on the trees, just / against the fog rising from the snowmelt / on the mountainsides / the road rising gray through the grass / all bright in its browns and yellows / russets and dull greens / frostcolored and the patches of early / snow the black cattle here and there / on the hillsides between expensive / houses and failing barbed wire fences
2019/10/22 outside my back window leaves swirl in the wind / and the streetlight over the alley flicks on / against the sky pale blue and pink
2019/8/19 it was damn near a hundred again today / over at the airport where they measure / a little cooler here on the edge of things / the river is running low, like it's august in fact / as well as by date
2019/5/9 a may snow, all day / the skies gray and / the grass growing taller / while it falls, tulips / blooming round the side of the house / the frogs across the street / sounding low and slow through / the patter of barely frozen / water falling on the just-unfolding / leaves
2019/5/4 few animals / are as satisfying to contemplate / as the bumble bee, all round and / purposeful
2018/12/7 i should still be at my desk, but instead / i'm out in the yard in work boots, sweatpants, / and a chore coat, fucking with the christmas lights / while there's still enough daylight left to see
2018/11/8 there are experiences that bring you / to an unusually direct and unvarnished consideration / of your actual stature in life; / between one thing and another / my 37th year has been thick with them
2018/10/25 when i was young, i read a book / (or maybe had it read to me) / where a tornado struck a small town / and in one scene a character was wearing / a windbreaker
2018/5/13 a mother's day lawn and garden report
2018/4/5 i think the special tragedy of / humans, in the long term, / might not so much be / that we die — that we / share with all things, after all
2018/1/4 speculative execution
2017/11/28 it helps (maybe it's a need) / to find a place to look outward / from, to center / a self and order all the / pieces of things
2017/11/8 the snow melting over the green grass / the leaves half fallen / three blackbirds chasing a hawk / haze over the flatirons and / a single lenticular disc of / cloud above the canyon
2017/10/26 outside the windows the newly / installed LED streetlights / are bright against the / falling snow, the / halfnaked trees and / wet dark pavement / the hills half-faded into / clouds and falling light
2017/10/19 the late afternoon / of the year gathers / around the town / where we live
2017/8/4 we're a fire / burning in the fibers / and tissues of the world
2017/7/11 sometimes
2017/6/26 photography
2017/3/15 you've got to remember / that a lot of your mind, / a lot of the systems that your mind / integrates with / live outside of your body as you conventionally / think of it / outside of the skin and bones, beyond / the fur and feathers, external to the / narrow motions and faculties of an isolated animal
2017/1/27 insomnia's a poor subject, i guess / but an inevitable one / it's too late to be awake, / but you're awake / all the failures and mistakes / are playing on tight loops in your head / all the pain you cause / the unkindnesses you've dealt / out and the promises you've broken
2017/1/20 the text is a program / running on the reader's mind / this is no small responsibility
2017/1/14 enough exposure to the look and feel of / old science fiction will give you / this kind of double vision when it comes / to the style of the present
2016/10/17 (nobody wants another meditation on mortality / some days it's just hard to write any other thing
2016/9/26 outside my window / small insects wobble in the sunlight / there are thin bright curves of spidersilk / on the screen / a squirrel runs along the fence / with a green apple in its mouth
2016/8/17 writing is a / project to see into / time / and to shape / somehow / memory
2016/8/13 the frogs / are loud again
2016/8/10 i sometimes feel like i'm living a / parallel life in my dreams
2016/6/1 in my life it seems like / there's a measure of imbalance / in the warp and weft of things
2016/5/2 there's a picture on the wall of kurt cobain / playing in this bar in like 1990 / a good deal has happened since then / this bar doesn't even look like it did in 2004 / or whenever it was i last lived in this town
2016/4/19 i used to be obsessed with meaning / i remain so, of course / (it's intrinsic to the problem space) / but the totality of my subjective experience / for a while now has suggested that the question / tends to obscure the structure of what is / with the unstable materials of ideas about / oughtness and should-be-ness
2016/4/1 reality is n-dimensional, / as far as any one person / (any one discrete subjectivity-bearing unit of / relatively continuous experience) / is concerned
2016/3/25 tenebrae
2016/1/14 then again, maybe writing is just / about exactly like mowing the lawn / or painting a wall / or splitting wood in the summer / when last winter's air is a fading / memory and next winter's is barely / yet a premonition
2016/1/12 looking up through sunglasses as i step out of the alley / i catch the sphere of what at first i take for the moon / through trees and clouds low in the sky to the west / realizing it's the sun i look for seconds / longer than you're ever supposed to look at the sun
2016/1/5 it's gotten easier with time / than in schoolpapers / and childhood letters / but writing never gets easy / the way that some things / have, like the mechanical / skills that any trade accumulates
2015/10/22 filing cabinets
2015/9/24 i carry on so much conversation /   with the avatars i carry around in my head /   of all the people i know /   the friends i have made /   and the enemies, few as they are
2015/9/3 two exercises:
2015/8/30 we sleep the afternoon away / on the living-room floor / hiding from the sun
2015/8/27 experience of this 21st century so far / seems well in line with the proposition / that the development of significant computational power / may be a much less daunting task / than its subsequent organization
2015/7/9    one of the (myriad) basic problems / with slowly attenuating your own memory / via a steady routine of sleep deprivation, / substance abuse, distraction, / generalized evil living, / and, for that matter / being older than about 26
2015/7/3 a place is a relation / to the possibility of motion / to things like power / and water
2015/6/8 reading metafilter in the sun on my front porch
2015/4/29 when walked we then / in streets silvered with the rain / when stood we / on distant shores / or under wider skies than these
2015/4/16 variations on a theme
2015/4/9 CGI::Fast and multi_param()
2015/2/6 A little visual poetry, courtesy of the clipboard history for the text editor on my artisanal computer:
2015/1/5 driving down 36 to see you / i grasp at the scene around me / trying to fix in mind for you / some list or hierarchy / of attributes and aspects: / snow on the hills / snow on the plains / the moon on the snow / sundown on the clouds / the haze over the city lights / electricity vivid and gleaming / within the field of some / greater radiance
2014/7/29 it was raining again tonight / heavy pattern on the stovepipe, / a kind of static on the roof
2014/5/19 monday night driving home from work
2014/4/15 From another time and a different season, Rexroth, "Blood on a Dead World":
2014/3/13 the poem and the song / the essay and the photograph / these are the forms i've come / to really love / the ones that can / inhabit some / moment place or idea / with a sometimes / nearly unbearable / subjectivity, with / an interiority which / is also universal / which at least hopes / for some universal / echo
2014/2/24 it's been warm all day; / shirtsleeve weather, earlier, / walking to the store for lunch
2014/2/12 i told a story today, thinking of you and / those hours grading papers at your kitchen table / the air around us thick with wine and / the ragged, lacerating cold of lincoln / in the winter not far away
2014/2/11 sometimes the frame shifts / and you let go the edges of / your own dissolution / and come to standing in a place / somewhere beyond the acknowledged / boundaries of your own life / you wake in the mornings not from / sheets knotted with hungover delusion / but from dreams / of your beloved dead / of broken loves made understandable / of longings not without compass / in the world / and in the space made by knowing / all those absences laid bare / you can see, if only for a fragile, / collapsing instant / clear to some horizon / usually obscured
2014/2/3 one day / i will be unable / to write / it will be then / i guess / much as if i / were already dead
2014/1/26 it must be sixty degrees in the sun / so i buy beer and sit at the glass-topped table / outside my door, drinking it and staring off / into the middle distance / the sky and the clouds and the rocks on the hills / are illuminated, suspended in the instantaneous / significance of late afternoon light on / the edge of the rockies / everything has taken on the appearance / of being exactly what it is
2014/1/21 history
2014/1/15 so you go on gathering / fuel for whatever fire / staring out past the trees / at some imaginary horizon
2014/1/12 the one casey is waiting for - reading
2013/12/3 a discourse on utility
2013/11/18 the ridiculous subjective interiority of being depressed as fuck all the time
2013/10/14 it's a hard thing / to be no kind of apologist / to carry no water / to sell no goods, / broker no deals / compromise nothing
2013/10/6 i guess it still colors the air around me / but it's like the light from some object / in the sky; some nebula or star / it's been old news / longer than i've been alive
2013/9/8 i step out into the rain, pipe in hand / and look in a cardinal direction / i wonder what's happening down that way / and suddenly i'm thinking of you / of what it's like in your life / how far away you are
2013/7/16 the world is complex, complicated, / complicating - a maelstrom of ineradicable / contradictions and corrupted motions / an infinite hall of broken mirrors
2013/7/12 then what is it you lose, / when you lose a place? / you lose who you were / in that place.
2013/5/2 from a bus running north out of boulder
2013/4/8 maybe in the end there's but one / literary vocation, one task set the / writer, an essential craft / the ideal of which we may judge all writing by
2013/2/9 midwinter midafternoon; depressed as hell / sitting in a huge cabin in the rich-people mountains / writing a sprawl, pages, of melancholic midlife bullshit
2012/10/9 i am a stateful machine / i exist in a manifold of consequence / a clattering miscellany of impure functions / and side effects
2012/5/11 mountains behind mountains recede into / monochrome cutouts and bluegray silhouettes
2012/4/27 fragment
2012/4/11 this poem again
2012/4/9 you're forever arriving and departing / the days and hours in between / like shadows, like snapshots
2012/3/26 1 a.m. is usually where i find myself / drifting in the silence of a sleeping house, / all easy thoughts evaporated along / the slow descent from late afternoon, / the previous a.m.'s potential energy / resolved into bleary eyes, an aching / shoulder, that handful of dishes / in the sink
2012/3/17 i guess maybe we ask too / much of a poem — too often / go looking for some incantation, / some deep well of sense / and clarity, a refinement / into something more than prose / a frame that briefly holds / the peace which passes / understanding
2012/2/1 sometimes, i think / that the entire world is a text / i have lost my ability to read
2012/1/29 laws of conservation of longing:
2012/1/10 — it's a strange winter in the middle places / bare ground in nebraska, the land is full / of the golden color of an october-november not yet / wrung out by ice and snow
2011/10/14 i've got this friend has a real knack / for turning all his successes into defeats / he's got a range of techniques, but in the end / he pretty much just does it / by dint of sheer belief
2011/8/12 christ it's late and i'm exhausted / awake for no good reason
2011/8/10 one diminishes or becomes greater / in proportion to something / but what?
2011/7/4 happy birthday the USA, / you great ambiguous beast
2011/6/3 you know what the sensation of getting old is?
2011/5/15 A partial inventory of things found in one of those blue plastic tubs from my parents' basement, where I threw a bunch of stuff the last time I had to move in a hurry:
2011/4/25 i can't claim to strive for it / (more often i'm working some slender vein / of mild euphoria, some melancholic drift) / but clarity of mind is certainly a thing / to treasure when it comes / hold it lightly if you can — it won't / be coerced, and anyway madness / and untoward certainty / are always going around / dressed up in the clothes of vision, / looking for company
2011/1/1 six years on / the same bank sign says 12 degrees / i am tracing my steps, a tired dog / returning to the scene of this or that crime
2010/12/6 it's hard to say where an end begins / but looking back down the months and years / you can't help drawing lines / looking around, you can't help wondering / where you'll draw them later on
2010/12/5 recent notes
2010/11/15 All right, deep breath. Approximately midway through the month of November, I am sitting on about 7 thousand words. This is some literal tens of thousands away from where I should probably be if I were going to hit that 50k.
2010/11/2 i've been off the sauce lately / but i'm making an exception for election night
2010/10/30 i was remembering today / the bright, brittle quality of your joy / the way you always hold yourself like a question / with no satisfactory answer / nine years now you've been at the / edge of my mind / i wonder if a lifetime / will feel any longer
2010/10/9 outside it's going over into fall, / going the tone of ray bradbury and roger zelazny / lightning over the mountains two nights ago / and a crazy wind blowing down out of the / foothills, snow on the peaks in the morning / all day i nursed a hangover indoors, black coffee / and glasses of water, playing cards in a mild daze / and waiting on some event to signify more than / a minor rearrangement of tokens
2010/9/21 all flesh like grass / all memory like so much / painting in the sand / all history like so many / crimescene photographs
2010/6/16 how much have you had
2010/5/18 you're real young, you think your parents / cannot possibly understand you / you get a little bit older, you start to think / they might be the only people who can
2010/5/12 all day long it's gray and / the rain starts well before sundown / it's hard to say just when the snow starts / but by 1am, writing bad poems in my / living room, i can hear tires failing / to find traction in the street outside
2010/5/5 on watching king of the hill
2010/4/25 i'm 29 years old / and i still can't walk into my bedroom / without scattering a pile of dirty clothes / or knocking over a stack of books
2010/2/2 headed home at thanksgiving, / i got off the train in lincoln / and as i walked east through the haymarket / a homeless man with no front teeth thought i was / someone named daniel / i'm not daniel, i said, you don't know me / and when he grabbed my arm i shrugged him off / and said leave me the fuck alone / fuck you, he said / and as i walked away he stood on the corner / shouting / fuck you fuck you fuck you you fucking fuck
2009/10/20 i'm willing to accede to a certain amount of / mysticism in the question of place / all around us the questions of what is extant, / what is happening, and what might yet happen / meet the limits of what is knowable / it's a near enough horizon, all / shadows framed out in elisions and lensflare / until we're all half blind without knowing it / lost in some foreign capital in the pouring rain / waiting for a phone line to be clear, / feeding coins into the machine while / we avoid eye contact with the hookers / or the cop / on the corner
2009/8/30 people with poems / are like missionaries / like transients on the corner / with the guitars they never learned how to play / like jesus freaks and pamphleteers / they never quite get the part / but the audition is never / going to stop / there's always another piece / of the heart they're forever rending / and they'll always want to give you something: / it's the only way they know / to take something from you.
2009/8/24 — busted watches, bookstores, anodyne / credit cards and crumpled ATM receipts / bad paintings in the cafes everywhere / sometimes it's hard to know / what motions you're going through.
2009/8/23 near the trailhead on the way back from jasper lake, / we encounter some people with their several dogs / and a white goat / i'm unable to decide / if the goat is there for the benefit of the dogs / or vice versa
2009/8/21 — wind in the streets outside the watering hole / broken glass on the 10th street overpass / plato's laughter in the coffee house / french roast refills a quarter, cigarettes and pipe tobacco / rain on the pavement outside some $5 folk rock show / frisbee in the heavy air of an oncoming season / 9th street basements, halloween dresses, / yellow line drift, bluegrass, johnny cash / that empty airplane sound, the omaha airport carpet / eggs over easy and the oblivion of sleep / the back stairs at some house party / j r dot with a bag of psilocybin mushrooms, / cheap wine overnight at the bakery / kitchen card tables and gas burner onions / guitars i still don't play / dead leaves on highway 2, bank signs in the bitter cold / bags of books, boxes of poems, bad sketches / academic manuscripts and yellow post-it notes / a burning car in the street on election night / a 3am university cop knocking on my passenger-side window / going across the ocean and giving up / mistakes i won't make again / lies i still tell —
2009/8/20 — jealousy and theft, / gratitude and resignation / the materials at hand / the stories that aren't yours any more / all the pictures on her wall and the / mixtapes meant for other people, / letters it's years too late to send / everything you want / is nothing you can say.
2009/8/19 83/93
2009/8/17 river water, broken sidewalks, stolen lines / folksong, the personality in art, the ones it seems like no one wrote / insects flashing in the falling wheat, some truckbed rattle / the dust after sundown, instant tea in sweating plastic jugs / fireflies, fireworks, flooded fields / the saturday evening post half a century under the floor / street corner cardboard signs, concert fliers in the gutter / credit cards, crumpled ATM receipts / bad paintings in the cafes everywhere / going across the ocean and giving up / (a manifesto? jesus, i can't even write a postcard) / bad sex, good sex you shouldn't have / jealousy and theft, gratitude and resignation / mistakes i'll never make again, lies i don't stop telling / nothing gets you high like it used to / yellow line drift, bluegrass, johnny cash / apple orchard refuse, sweet smoke and cornstalk shatter / wind in the streets outside the watering hole / broken glass on the 10th street overpass / plato's laughter in the coffee house / french roast refills a quarter, cigarettes and pipe tobacco / the back stairs at some house party / kitchen card tables and gas burner onions / piano key cacophony, guitars i still don't play / busted watches, bookstores, anodyne / condoms in the clothesdrier / channels in the rock, red dirt on my shoes / traintracks, dead elevators, leaves on highway 2 / blue eyes crying in the rain / the materials at hand / the stories that aren't yours, any more / mixtapes meant for other people / making out in the car, making conversation over beers / making much of little enough / nothing you can say, everything you want
2009/7/20 at a table outside the king soopers, / drinking a red cream soda: / nothing gets you high like it used to
2009/6/18 a stop in julesburg / i drive around looking for an open diner or cafe / and wind up with a country-fried steak at the flying j
2009/6/5 america
2009/4/29 you turn the lock of the password, / the keys rattling in your brain and / fingers moving awkwardly over the buttons / half drunk and half confounded by the / chiclet feel of a commodity laptop
2009/4/25 someone says / approach this conversation like an argument / you say / why should i do that?
2009/4/18 lzrd - iteration
2009/4/5 it's still the early years of a century / the kind of time our survivors and theirs / might understand hazily / as an age undone in the succession of catastrophe
2009/3/15 i wake up at noon or maybe one / go down for coffee / sun out, blue sky haze / brown grass by the railroad track / check the mail on the way back / it's empty again
2009/3/14 at the end of the last summer i / spent at home, i visited a friend / who was staying in a nearby town / he was working the phones at a collection / agency, waiting to go to jail for a while / i forget just exactly why
2009/1/9 for the most part, / love is fucking meaningless
2008/12/28 i'm listening to / Music Box Christmas, / "AS PERFORMED BY / THE PORTER TWIN DISC / MUSIC BOX"
2008/12/24 I got a hat, and a cast iron pan, and volume 3 of the collected Sandman, and some socks (I love socks), and a partially completed leather notebook case with a hand-tooled picture of an eagle on it.
2008/12/18 the ashes of this year are still / drifting down to settle on nearby / rooftops and windowsills / these last few weeks and days / twist and curl on the coals / that thin column of our hours / trickles skyward, lost before / it can reach the ramshackle dwelling / of whatever god still accounts / the sweetness of this sacrifice
2008/12/12 Ta-Nehisi Coates posts Tony Hoagland's "Sweet Ruin":
2008/11/11 11/11 - a (reformatted) transcription of recent notes on AM radio
2008/11/6 recently - regional transportation district poem #1
2008/10/26 sunday morning in late october / the burnt taste of instant coffee / bright day on the edge of things — / dead leaves and cold air, undecided wind
2008/10/24 i'm always, every day / awakening to a world / i barely know and hardly grasp
2008/10/5 i've just finished reading / a selection of charles darwin's letters
2008/9/26 yeah yeah yeah - points a & b
2008/9/16 reasons not to compose on a typewriter
2008/9/9 you know when it's the / middle of the night, you / aren't sleeping / and every thing is wrong?
2008/8/21 aluminum / percolator coffee, powdered nondairy creamer / production floor outside my office shuffling into / motion, bassline starts to filter through from / the shipping department speakers
2008/7/6 line(s) at a reading the other night
2008/5/31 i have this vision / of a rickety wooden dock extending out / into some inland sea / a lone bicycle accelerates wildly / and hurls itself from the last plank / arcing into the water / we cut to a view under the surface; / the bicycle sinks slowly into a pile / of corroding frames, handlebars, and tires / as a fish swims away into the murk.
2008/5/23 there's a deep itching in my knee where / i scraped a chunk of skin off saturday / night playing kickball badly with a beer / in my hand. so help me i felt like jr. / high all over again despite all the ways / i would assure you i know better now / the truth is i've always hated playing / base-running stick-and-ball games, even / the ones that don't involve a stick, even / the bullshit ones designed to keep little / kids from feeling bad about themselves / like tee ball, where i played some position i / didn't understand and caught a ball right / in the teeth / and felt bad / about myself / i haven't got the rhythm, that's what it / is: i have got no sense that anything i'm / doing is furthering the purpose of the / conversation people are having by running / bases and preventing others from running / bases and all the rest. i don't even know / how you would further the purpose / of that particular conversation although it / always seems clear enough from the outside, it / always seems like a real conversation / and sometimes it's even one filled with / implicature for all manner of things in / life, at least when you see it in the movies / when it is robert redford or those kids / in the sandlot or that documentary / on PBS where it's good but you keep forgetting / it isn't still the civil war because ken burns is / such a goddamned one-trick pony.
2008/5/22 Dulces, sonoras, roncas ranas, / siempre quise ser rana un día, / siempre amé la charca, las hojas / delgadas como filamentos, / el mundo verde de los berros / con las ranas dueñas del cielo.
2008/5/18 sunday on p1k3 is observational nihilism day
2008/4/21 the poetry of everyday american life
2008/4/16 some days i'm in love / with the ten thousand things.
2008/4/15 3am / not nebraska
2008/4/13 carolann says we should mend / our hearts through drastic action
2008/4/7 it ain't just feet of clay / you shatter and shake down dust / from all the way up / dust and pieces sharp as glass, / colors of broken bottles / trap shot pigeons, storefront panes / and busted windshields / edges like the beercan sheer / that lacerated my fingers once, / the taste of blood like copper / no like coors light aluminum / and my face in the mirror / as i fumbled for a bandage / mike outside the door / it's just a little cut / my face in the mirror / a stranger through the bloodloss / buzz, to myself at least / in all those mirrors from / nebraska to colorado and / points in between asking / what are you doing? / i didn't know then, / in kansas city bath / grand junction billings / christchurch wichita / westmoreland salina / or maybe i'm a liar / maybe knew too well / but it was always a rhetorical / question and it at least / has never checked the motion / of these brittle feet.
2008/4/6 yesterday morning.
2008/4/5 3am / bird
2008/4/4 and one day / what once would elevate you / just starts to dissipate you
2008/3/25 fragment
2008/3/9 And even if you found yourself in some prison, whose walls let in none of the world's sounds—wouldn't you still have your childhood, that jewel beyond all price, that treasure house of memories?
2008/2/24 self-referentially incomplete busted-love-poem
2008/2/18 reading montaigne on the bus
2008/2/17 why is only what / mapped across many frames / whether this knowledge / is liberation or paralysis, / at a high enough resolution / the only reason is the thing itself
2008/2/16 i think we frequently value artists / for our perception of what they are / more than it matters to us what they have done
2008/2/9 the cellular telephone is a powerful innovation / you can sit by one while it doesn't ring / just about anywhere you feel like / from here i can see all the way to the / front of this half-empty display case / for boilerplate boulder eccentricity
2008/2/3 i picked up a hitchhiker the other morning / his name was peter and he said he was on a walk of / faith.
2007/12/7 hope is best understood as pathology / the kind of thing your favorite poet / might have described as a "disturbance / of the central nervous system"
2007/11/28 loss is the residuum / of nearly all survivable / experience
2007/11/15 the fifteenth of november / and a crazy wind has brought down / some bastard child of a warm front / two nights ago i sat in the car and / watched tiny pellets of almost-snow / hit the windshield
2007/10/24 in the distance, there is snow on / the mountains
2007/9/24 carolAnn is writing a poem about spiders
2007/5/22 It's been months since I wrote much of anything, / barring a couple of pale exercises in sold-out bullshit / to be found elsewhere. I hear you can make good money these / days telling people that sold-out bullshit is a radically / liberatory way to sell things. As long as you don't choke / on your own bile there are probably worse gigs.
2007/4/28 the albany sky gets lighter / through the attic window / we drink bottles of yeungling / and pass a final pipe
2007/4/3 About half of everything / Interesting there is to / Say about abstraction / Is in the Dao De Jing / The other half is probably / In the body of literature / On functional programming.
2007/3/28 i get pretty high on the way to the bar / afterwards, we go to the happy dragon / i discover in myself a heretofore unknown / competence with chopsticks.
2007/3/11 first of all, substance: / excess is a narrow road / and the ditches are littered / with unconscious teenagers / in the end, you're headed / for the same place / but there may be sunrises / along the way
2007/3/5 sunlight straight / down pearl street / through the trees / buskers bums and / beggars — mothers / and merchandise / the unstained plastic / white of a new walk sign / assholes on cellphones / coffee and commerce.
2007/2/27 the evil is general, / pervasive, operating in all things: / it is conventional to believe this, / but conventional explanations / will not suit.
2007/2/26 one table over, / they are playing a board game / she reads a card: / name one thing that really changed your life / he thinks for a while, and says / getting on the path to self-transformation
2006/10/7 on pearl street the other day / i told a democratic party activist i don't / really vote; i was curious what he'd say / i thought his spiel was pretty decent / at least up to the point where he asked / me for money / he was passionate anyway / there is something to be said for / passion which knows its talking points / it makes for good salesmanship
2006/9/26 insectember
2006/8/14 it's almost cold this morning / after last night's rare storm / my plastic rainbarrel trashcan / is full to overflowing, and i collected / another seven gallons in jugs and buckets / with what we waste on hot showers and / the dishes, laundry and all that, / this conservation is probably an illusion / but i enjoy it.
2006/7/15 it's after midnight / on the window screen, a mantis / tears the wings from a small moth / this is a land of things which catch / and devour / at least two species of wasp specialize / in the paralysis of spiders / there are many spiders / mornings, the grass is full of / webs silvered with condensation and / low-angled light / in the kitchen, a spindly arachnid / litters a corner of our table with / the wreckage of its prey / weeks ago there were many such spiders / now there is only one / which has grown much larger.
2006/6/29 today, i felt that we live in an age beyond everything / i thought / it is not that we have passed some threshold / it is that there are no lines left to cross / we are not even moving on that axis / any more
2006/6/2 driving home
2006/5/25 engineering
2006/5/2 thesis
2006/4/29 my favorite press release headline to date: / pick 'n' mix or off-the-shelf gantry robots — / the choice is yours.
2006/4/20 should be a good day to be in boulder / says junior / on account of the holiday / holiday? / i ask / there is a pause / oh yeah, i say / that's right.
2006/4/9 palm sunday
2006/4/7 daylight savings
2006/3/14 unexpectedly, i am sitting / in the coffeehouse again / at the same table by the / dirty dish window / the coffee tastes the same / the girl with the short black / hair is still behind the counter / just outside the door, / the guy with the tattoo / on his throat hits me up for / change.
2006/3/4 tweak - relativity
2006/2/25 i do not care about / content / which may in practical / conversation be used / interchangeably with / "shit"
2006/2/17 50 pages into february, / i have taken many notes
2006/2/1 Starting a new paper notebook. Here are some excerpts from the old one.
2006/1/17 could i elaborate on why / work your way up from the mail room / is a bad joke?
2006/1/14 elk|rabbits|deer|mice - a simple engine for expressing poetic variation
2005/12/14 stupid similes
2005/12/3 my 24 year old transistor radio / is playing barely comprehensible reggae / ("woman, go home, to your husband") / there's a fire in the stove; the kettle / on top is hissing and steams a little / in the light from outside which is / made up of silver brown dead grass / thin snow, dirty windows / and is fading as i write this
2005/12/2 outside a snow is falling / into oblivion and dripping / from the last leaves, becoming / a thin quiet stream at the place where a rainspout / just beside the sleeping bees / should connect the gutter to the ground / and i imagine the sound / of it is something like that of silence / in my headphones, a low rustle or tiny / click - like turntable noises or the / end of a tape.
2005/11/10 a poem carolann wrote
2005/10/22 current notebook extracts, some variations on same
2005/10/14 i like places that are wasted / a little by the rip & shuffle / slap and stutter / of time like some old man who / makes unconscious art out of / his small domain / the beat tools in their / customary shadows, / some place once a farm / with now just the fences and / the token livestock / the tractor giving up / a rusty ghost, though / it'll run until / a month or a year after / the old man dies / time like that, / or like the house where / i live with the yard / they must have landscaped / once going quietly to / hell and seed and / a tangle of tall brown / grass and the bees / going dormant for the / winter under one eve, / one plugged up rain gutter / like the cheap bright / colored buddhist prayer flags / unravelling their beautiful / cliche in the wind by / our front door / or like gary indiana / through some train window / warehouse kansas city from / the backseat of some wallowing / detroit boat.
2005/9/13 disclaimer
2005/8/8 i: punditry - ii: attitude - iii: anyway
2005/7/7 the problem of evil compounds itself / with each passing instant and generation
2005/7/6 for many school-aged children / in the united states, / it might be that / there is a practical necessity / of choosing between nihilism / and total surrender
2005/6/19 i used to come home long / after everyone was in bed / sometimes drunk though just as often / only blasted out of my mind on fatigue / and wishful thinking
2004/12/19 cladistics
2004/12/18 so in my own life i think i'm losing the war, / if not every battle / but that's a lousy metaphor, because life is not so much a / thing to be won or at least not that way
2004/12/17 a reflection on the thursday night bar scene in lincoln nebraska and my place therein, with consequences attendant
2004/12/12 "i love the world", a good friend wrote to me not so long ago.
2004/12/7 i know hate is just no good / but goddamn, parking ticket lady / in your little white pseudo-jeep / with the flashing orange lights on top
2004/11/29 silence is what i always come back to / - a state of mind, not a state of sound / since always there is something: / wheel-buzz on the blacktop road, / the breathing of a friend / stoned in the passenger seat
2004/11/28 this morning, while / unloading the dishwasher in my parents' kitchen / i listen to a radio sermon / the preacher is talking about christian humility / of which he suggests the apostle paul was a perfect example
2004/11/27 a partial list of initial lines of things i have written with more than the usual number of line breaks (ill-sorted)
2004/11/22 was going somewhere with this
2004/11/9 i leave the office around sunset, / a day of academic language and / bureaucracy leaking out of my ears
2004/10/24 The better part of October just rolled by over my head while I followed lawnmowers across the tiny front lawns and massive corporate grounds of Middle America's neighborhood associations and insurance companies. I picked up cigarette butts in front of department stores and navigated around little concrete statues while composing things in my head like
2004/10/20 today i skipped work / to attend the funeral of a young / man i met only once
2004/10/8 friday afternoon, sweet relief: / i may dream about cutting grass tonight, / but in the morning i can do just about / anything else
2004/9/25 time is like some slow drug: / you don't realize how much you've had / until the delirium kicks in, / or the tremors
2004/9/21 should not waste the awareness of rain / here where its presence is a gift / and a departure from the ordinary / which contains wonders nearly always
2004/9/20 winfield, pt. 1
2004/9/8 spider sex - direction as well as magnitude
2004/9/3 justify yourself
2004/8/17 last night pulling onto 180 to go the three miles home / i stopped for a couple kids who had murdered a tire on a / curb somewhere, and let them destroy / my shitty manufacturer-supplied jack / trying to change it
2004/7/31 Wala::get_searchlinks
2004/7/24 was going to be an essay on photography: notes thereto
2004/7/12 Monday at the coffee shop, / Sarah has a little bunch of roses. / Throughout the conversation, she / slowly dismantles the flowers. / I draw a piece. So does Sarah.
2004/7/6 when we get back to the house, / there is a hedgehog moving slowly / along the wall by the door / it is spikey and round / with small black eyes.
2004/7/4 bohemia
2004/6/27 shucks - having done
2004/5/31 all in the wrist - two related thoughts - i would rather be a forest than a street
2004/5/12 it's after 12:30; i'm sitting on / the steps of the united church of christ / a few yards away charleston street is closed / the city, deep in some project full of pipelines / has gouged a long trench down the middle / wind is tearing at the yellow safety tape / around parked equipment while a purposeful / large raccoon crosses the intersection with 10th / and orange lights flash on striped barriers / resembling sawhorses in construction.
2004/5/5 lyle grayson, billings, montana
2004/5/1 may day, beltane, &c. / i wander the stacks and compile a bibliography
2004/4/20 the end of another semester, / and along with new-mown grass and / the scent of flowering trees / there is panic in the air.
2004/4/19 yesterday the wind came into town and / filled the air with dust and the debris of / trashcans overturned, their contents exploding / into flight
2004/4/9 carolann writes another poem; i add a linebreak
2004/3/23 reading alan watts on an airplane
2004/3/17 carolann writes a poem
2004/3/1 some days / it seems like a damn shame / there's no way to offer a sincere / apology to the universe for existing / without offing yourself in the process.
2004/2/16 i suddenly felt deeply / awkward, and left as soon as i could, / but the awkwardness lingered / and became a kind of general malaise
2004/2/14 She says I'm okay, I'm alright, / Though you have gone from my life / You said that it would, / Now everything should, be all right / Yeah should be alright
2004/2/10 footing on the bridge / is treacherous - today's thaw left snowmelt / for sundown to turn glassy slick / i walk with my hands in pockets despite / the singular likelihood of a fall / feeling buttoned down and streamlined / observe: i know where i am going
2004/2/7 one of my two best friends from highschool / called this afternoon to say he's getting married / in june and would i be a groomsman
2004/2/2 later - earlier
2004/1/29 A sinus headache is quietly undermining my sanity.
2004/1/20 things - search me - some search strings for the month of january,
2004/1/19 Girl,
2004/1/5 bark - origin - snake not biting tail
2004/1/4 addiction, a hypothesis: / in one sense, / i don't have enough music / that is going to be true no matter how much / electrically fossilized noise i collect, / what jangling or percussive motions / i commit to memory
2003/12/25 outside, cold and mostly dry / dirty snow just left in ditches / piles and skiffs beneath trees / and logpile shadows / woodsmoke drifting
2003/12/18 tuesday morning i left the room / just before my grandmother took her last breath / to call my father / i did not say what i should have / come now, as fast as you can / but i could almost not speak / and i was afraid / that somehow she would go on like that
2003/12/7 of course it didn't snow / or anything - in fact it's too warm / for the coat i have been wearing
2003/12/6 december's weight is strange / so much piled up and waiting
2003/10/30 words are empty / and nothing else / will fill the silence.
2003/10/22 further old notebook things
2003/10/16 some things from a notebook: one old page, - another, - and one new
2003/10/9 a list - cetacean
2003/10/1 October,
2003/9/25 lately i have been saying / 'i only hope i can remember this' / a lot
2003/9/12 debitive
2003/9/11 soaked? well, not quite / but wet, definitely / not going to dry out for a while
2003/9/9 essay - morning
2003/9/3 this place is a fucking mess / an accurate but unflattering / reflection of my state of mind / by which i mean only / that there are things scattered / everywhere and my bed is unmade / not that i feel broken, overwhelmed / or undone — only scattered
2003/8/21 i wonder why thankfulness is so hard to express / and values like love and honest affinity / are so lacking in all but the most manipulative or ethereal / statements of our civilization
2003/8/20 making my shaggy, sweat-soaked / way past the stadium this afternoon / i could hear the drum corps practicing / for all the other things on my mind / i have to stop and note / that is one badass sound
2003/8/15 denim, flannel, wool, and polycotton blends
2003/8/12 ggk
2003/8/11 good things
2003/8/8 leaving for missouri / which isn't all that far away
2003/7/24 maybe not, always
2003/7/15 a quiet plea
2003/7/8 something noticed
2003/7/1 the sense that you have been operating under false assumptions / is a constant in the study of history
2003/6/24 molly: tiananmen square.
2003/5/21 is this thing still on?
2003/4/22 debitive
2003/4/15 / and start fresh
2003/4/1 me: fuck! / wei-jet: huh? / me: it fucking snowed! / wei-jet: no place like nebraska.
2003/3/25 what's wrong is everywhere - the bitter strings,
2003/3/13 flee from me, keepers of the gloom - conversation is good, right?
2003/3/7 of all those i have ever read about, / been told of, or encountered in practice / there are two philosophical schools / which are really accurate delineations / of either my life or what i ought to be doing with it
2003/3/4 everything - meanwhile - harvest
2003/3/1 there are robins in the tree outside the window / for all i know they've been around all winter but / still, it seems a springlike thing
2003/2/24 so my copy of - came
2003/2/17 and the front page of the new york times says
2003/2/13 afternoon, rewritten a few days later - early AM
2003/2/11 loose notebook transcriptions - you know the weird instant when - , - god i love led zeppelin
2003/2/4 and an answer or two - early a.m. rhetorical questions - fiction, most entirely
2003/2/1 it shames me that the first thing i thought / when i heard "has lost contact with the space shuttle columbia" was
2003/1/28 We've got indie film. Or dang near, anyway.
2003/1/27 morning - afternoon
2003/1/26 early - late
2003/1/25 leo's invention / are not half bad.
2003/1/24 yesterday i hit the internet archive / and found some things i wrote / back in the day
2003/1/20 i start to wonder about the visual hallucinations
2003/1/19 stagger, if not quite stumble in / a little before seven / looking like a refugee from dazed and confused
2003/1/16 answers to questions implied by search strings which have found this site
2003/1/15 this is me, / quietly extending my middle finger / in the general direction of the united states supreme court.
2003/1/10 brent: go for it
2003/1/6 you could learn a lot splitting firewood / although i'm not sure that i ever did
2003/1/1 There's no such thing as a blank slate / but the illusion sure can be nice.
2002/12/31 the last day of the year is fading fast / on this particular drafty farmhouse / and all its jumbled contents
2002/12/20 admit it / you still do the white knuckle thing / or at least you still talk a little too much / running dialog with yourself / if there's no one in the passenger seat / both hands sweating on the wheel
2002/12/19 people talked me into reading the river why, by david james duncan / the river why led me to read a river runs through it, / by norman maclean / which was not very long / nor as good, really, as why / though still pretty good
2002/12/18 one ring, oh yeah
2002/12/16 little experiment / what happens if i take five minutes to write this / standing up at some random mail console?
2002/12/12 how 'bout a revolution? - what's going down
2002/12/10 Tue Dec 10 19:27:59 CST 2002 - Tue Dec 10 16:17:43 CST 2002
2002/12/9 another room / this one's smaller / with more yellow-brown paint and no sink
2002/12/7 one good thing about music
2002/12/6 ok, that's it, i'm done. / no more perl this year / i just can't hack it
2002/11/26 housekeeping
2002/11/12 *blink*
2002/11/11 and a dream to match
2002/10/31 rounding out the month, / that's all /  
2002/10/27 All right, it's true. OS X kicks the tar out of Windows. Even with the goofy dock and the goofy shiny plasticized Aqua look and the ridiculous hardware requirements. Even with the lame too-shallow laptop like keyboards and the worthless anti-ergonomic single-button mice (mouses?) that somehow became central to the Macintosh design philosophy while I wasn't looking.
2002/10/25 too many words / for so little said
2002/10/23 Better Than Ezra have more decent songs than I remembered.
2002/10/22 if all my trains of thought / are not derailed / they should be.
2002/10/16 i don't have time to be writing this
2002/10/12 Brent: Ah ha.
2002/10/10 or, why am i not sleeping?
2002/10/3 all day / i've been able to hear acorns / hurtling from the oak tree outside my window
2002/10/1 oh god come quickly the execution of all things
2002/9/27 to treat of things musical
2002/9/26 i just spent twenty minutes / tweaking my display script to insert line breaks / so i can write this way without typing <br /> / every single line
chapbook unrequired poetry