Sunday, May 3
transcription of an imaginary adventure game
It's Sunday afternoon. You've basically given up on cleaning the
house, and can't quite decide how to treat the remainder of the day.
You are sitting in your apartment. The blinds are open. Outside it
is mild and pleasant, an archetypal Spring day for this part of your
western state. Music spills tinnily out of your laptop's speakers.
> search apartment
You wander haphazardly around the apartment, mentally cataloguing
your available resources. A partial list includes:
- A sink full of cold, dirty dishwater
- $2.25 in quarters
- A laptop
- Sundry notebooks
- Several ballpoint stick pens
- A Leatherman multi-tool
- Two low-sodium V8s (in refrigerator)
- Half of last night's j
- A disc
- A bicycle, almost in working order
- A helmet
- A messenger bag
- Some unpopped popcorn
- A low-end cellphone
- A paper bag
> take v8
You open the fridge and pull a V8 from its plastic wrapper,
wandering what ever became of those little plastic six-pack rings
that used to strangle curious marmots and baby sea turtles.
> open v8
You pause to shake the tiny can vigorously, then crack it open.
> drink v8
Suppressing a certain disgust at the concept of a cold, drinkable
vegetable puree, you down the entire can of V8 in a few swallows.
You feel a sort of perverse satisfaction as you toss the empty into
your overflowing recycle bin.
You still aren't sure what to do with whatever's left of your time.
> listen to laptop
You seem to be playing Modest Mouse.
"Our ideas held no water but we used 'em like a dam..."
> well ain't that the truth
I'm afraid I don't know what you mean.
> you lying bastard
If you're not satisfied with your present low estate, it's nobody's
fault but your own.
> that's not fair
Stop being such an entitled prick. You're acting like a child. 28
years old and too scared of life to walk out your own front door.
> smoke remaining j and listen to modest mouse
You do just that, and, putting out the end in the dishwater, turn up
the laptop's volume and sit all the way through "Spitting Venom" and
"People As Places As People".
Which is about what I would have expected. Avoid the issue.
> still, this is a pretty good album
> pop the popcorn
The pan you use for that is still dirty. Are you forgetting about
> finish the dishes
It turns out that the dishwater is still lukewarm, and you manage to
get the last few dishes -- including the saucepan you rely on for
popcorn -- clean without too much suffering.
> pop the popcorn
You splash some oil in the bottom of the freshly cleaned saucepan,
turn a burner up to 8 or so, and let the oil heat for a bit before
tossing in a handful of (organic, bulk-purchased at Supplement
Hovel, you ridiculous hippie) kernels. Several minutes later you
have a pan full of fresh, fluffy popcorn. It smells delicious.
Unfortunately, you're kind of baked and not paying enough attention.
By the time you take the pan off the burner, the bottom layer of
popcorn has turned into a scorched, smoking mess.
You're able to salvage most of the popcorn by quickly pouring it
into a bowl and picking out some charred bits, but it's going to
take some serious elbow grease to get this pan clean again.
> wash pan
You turn on the faucet and start running water into the pan. It
instantly explodes into a column of hot steam, splashing you with
scalding water in the process. Swearing loudly, you drop the pan
into the sink.
Maybe you should just deal with this whole scene later.
> let's blow this popsicle stand
> take messenger bag
> put leatherman, disc, cellphone, notebook, and pens in messenger bag.
leatherman: You put the Leatherman tool in the messenger bag.
disc: You put the Discraft Ultra-Star 175 in the messenger bag.
cellphone: You put the lame-ass cellphone in the messenger bag.
notebook: Which notebook of the 42 you currently own?
pens: You put the pens in the messenger bag.
> examine notebooks
You begin rifling through the stacks of notebooks. They come in a
dozen shapes and sizes, but there's considerable evidence of a
certain brand loyalty. Not to say an outright fetishization of what
really should be a simple commodity, shouldn't it?
> examine notebooks
Eventually you locate a notebook which hasn't been entirely filled
with your inane scribbling and seems to contain recent entries.
> put recent notebook in messenger bag
You put the recent notebook in the messenger bag.
> wear messenger bag
> ride bike downtown
In your present addled state, you seem to have forgotten that you
accidentally wrecked the valve stem on your front tire last night.
I would also hasten to point out that you should be wearing your
> fix valve stem
You mess around with it for a while, but you know it's just no good.
You probably need to replace the whole tube, and you don't have any
spares on hand.
> weep bitterly
Hey. Hey now. Don't do that.
Hey. Look. I'm sorry I called you an entitled prick. Why don't we
just take the bus downtown? We can go sit out front at some random
coffeeshop and watch all the beautiful girls walk past. You might
even be stoned enough to talk to one of them.
> you really think so?
Really. C'mon. It's not so bad.
Bring a hat. I think it's starting to rain.