october 6

i guess it still colors the air around me
but it's like the light from some object
in the sky; some nebula or star
it's been old news
longer than i've been alive

when you're young you long for it
(as even then you know the lights in the sky
are impossibly distant)
with a longing bigger than the absence of god

in later days you long
for the longing you felt when you were young