Sunday, October 28

It’s fall. I filled out a ballot today, which is basically the furthest extent of my political participation in recent memory, a few angry letters aside. I feel paralyzed.

In the world, things seem bad and getting worse. The last few days have featured a mass murder at a synagogue, pipebombs in the mail, that fucker winning in Brazil. It’s like this all over. The internet is a stew of fear and loathing, impossible to assimilate or process, this howling gale of bad feelings about everything and everyone blowing out of pretty much every screen on the planet. I get up in the morning to work my computer job and if I’m unlucky I click the wrong thing and I don’t recover from how fucked-up it makes me feel until the next day or the next week. We made everybody halfway to telepathic and it turns out to be like in that Spider Robinson story where the guy can read minds and it’s a traumatic nightmare to know what other people are thinking. Like that but with feedback loops all over the place.

I’m doing it right now. It’s a bad look.