wednesday, december 18, 2019

notes to a much younger self, to the extent that i can reconstruct him

(posted wednesday, july 13, 2022)

i'll start by saying that it's
better after a while
for you at least

the dimensions of your
life, they do expand

it's worse, too, and
sometimes for years on end

there are things ahead
that are going to destroy parts of you
there are things ahead
that are going to tear at the whole frame
of the world you inhabit
one of the things that life is
is a series of losses
that you never quite recover from

and in all that,
you're going to fuck up a lot
you'll learn most of what you learn
the hard way
you'll fail altogether
to learn far too much

but all the same you'll make some friends,
fall in love more than once
and in more than one way
wake up on some mornings
to find yourself strong and able

maybe fear will always be with you, and
far too much of it
but the walls that arise in your mind
between you and some imagined truer self
they fall away with time

along, maybe, with the idea that
there's any truer self to be found.

tags: topics/poem

p1k3 / 2019 / 12 / 18